Two sides of the same coin

She’s two years younger than me. We have the same DNA handed down to us by our parents. We have grown up in the same environment, with the same set of values. We have had a balanced upbringing in the same home.

However, we cannot be more different, be it temperament, choices, habits or personality. Whereas she likes to express her thoughts freely, I think twice before speaking. While she prefers colourful outfits, I am more conservative in my selection. She is a complete desi when it comes to cuisine, whereas I prefer a western menu. She will preserve a new buy for a special occasion or save an exotic chocolate for sometime later. I, on the other hand, dive right in, whether it is an outfit or a rare treat. She can spend 20 bucks on a taxi everyday, but refuses flat out to spend 600 bucks on a meal. I prefer travelling in a bus so that I can offset the expense of eating out once or twice a month. She is similar to my mom, while I tend to tilt towards my dad in habits. (You may come to the conclusion that my parents are totally contradictory in nature as well. You may probably also be right in that, but that’s a different story altogether.)

These, and a million other habits, choices and characteristic traits mark a remarkable difference between me and my younger sibling. Such marked contrast reminds me sometimes of two sides of a coin straining against each other to go in different directions, unable to do so due to the metal that binds them together.

We must have had a million fights in our 26 years together. Whether we are together or apart, we have the ability to tick each other off without a second’s notice. Constant nagging or difference of opinion on a trivial matter can have us pulling at each other’s hair—literally! A friend of hers was amazed and was left gaping at us when we had such a fight a few years ago while I was visiting her in the US. When we met at the beginning of my trip, we were nothing but love and smiles for each other. Under the heady effect of three years of pent up affection for each other, we exchanged a few pairs of earrings – one of our most sacred possessions that the other was not allowed to even look at, let alone touch. At the end of two months though, our so-called love frayed at the edges when we re-exchanged—I know I coined a new word here—the earrings after a huge fight. The video her friend has taken of the re-exchange has him in splits till this date!

Our childhood has been marked by numerous mini-wars, which my mom diffused sometimes with the help of our high and mighty dad, who rarely interfered, and whose judgement, when asked for, was considered final. At some of the most frustrating points in time, she mockingly regretted having two kids, wondering how households with more than two kids endured the horrors that went on within.

Today, when Ronak is with me day in and day out after a gap of nearly 8 years, the difference in personality is more obvious to me than it was before. However, our opposite temperament is actually helping us balance our work and personal life perfectly. She haggles for the 2 bucks from the vegetable vendor and I arrange for a perfect day out on the weekend. In a get together with friends, she becomes the star of the evening, whereas I balance stuff out by actually listening to conversations ;). I like doing the dishes while she likes cooking. A few years ago we would kill—well, nearly kill—the other for borrowing accessories or clothes without permission. Today, we share stuff willingly, sometimes even buying stuff we think the other will like.

And more prominently than ever before, we realise that no matter how much we haggle among ourselves, our affection and care over-rides everything else. And more than ever before, I am glad that my parents decided to have two kids. I do not know what I would have done as an only child, where the fun in my life would have come from or whom I would have beaten up while growing up. This one’s for Ronak, without whom my life would have been incomplete and boring, to say the least. 

This one goes out to you Rons. Happy birthday sis :)

PS – Do you see the devil sitting in the corner there, smirking that a post has been dedicated to her? Yup, that would be my sister.