Oldies smoldies

There is something remarkably fascinating about the elderly, those who are over 65, especially in India. Not only do Indian senior citizens come in all shapes, sizes and colours, they are also distinctly different, based on the culture, upbringing and background they come from. Our world is a more interesting place with the oldies pampering us, giving advice, repeating the stories of their ancestors and how things were while they were growing up. Have you noticed, however, that they have typical characteristics that can be classified distinctly?

The take-me-home-and-look-after-me ones

If there were a competition for this category, my grandmother would be a sure winner. Every time she smiles at me, I am tempted to take her home and use her as a hugsy pillow – which, of course, I refrain from doing! Kind eyes on a wrinkled face, you will feel pampered with merely a look from them. Typically, they love feeding everyone with delectable recipes, which only they can concoct, much to the perplexity of daughter-in-laws and grandchildren. Having unsuccessfully tried my hand at cooking my favourite preparation under her watchful eye with the same vegetables, ingredients and method she uses, I have given up on ever achieving the taste of my grandmother’s cuisine. The unique flavour of her preparations eludes me always. Maybe at the end of the cooking process, she secretly scrunches up her eyes and blows her love on top of the preparation as garnishing. What? Do not judge me as totally nuts, it just may be possible, you know.

The look-at-me-and-I-will-bite-your-head-off ones

The complete opposite of the previous category, this type of crowd consists of the typical irritable elderly you would encounter in a Mumbai local. Ready to pick a fight even if you so much as breathe near them, you are best off leaving them in their miserable state of mind. Say one word, and this frustrated group will leave you spell-bound with a verbal tirade unfit for their age. Senior citizens frustrated with complications like worse halves and finances, and sometimes plain old pessimists form the crux of such a group. If you ever face someone from this category in a boxing ring, concede defeat even before the fight starts, because they WILL tear you apart!

The yes-I-can ones

These are the resolute ones, who insist on living life independently and on their terms. Oldies falling in this category believe that they can handle whatever life throws at them, no matter what. It is this belief that sometimes helps them overcome physical conditions that no medicine in the world can cure. Whereas you and I would have given up years ago, the yes-I-can type of senior citizens fight everything from cancer to arthritis to financial crisis with utmost cheerfulness, emerging victorious most of the time. Hopefully God will endow us with half their strength when we reach their age. Hats off to these oldies I say!

The pesky-nosy-tell-me-everything ones

This category is sort of a mix of the first and second category. While not as rude as the irritable elders and not as cute as the hugsy ones, pesky senior citizens take it upon themselves to find out everything about your life, whether it is their business or not. My neighbour’s grandmother heads this category, faithfully making it a point to inquire with my mother how late I came in last night, who was the ‘boy’ who dropped me home at 11 30 at night and who was making so much noise in a get together at my place. While my neighbour does not, some grandmoms tend to take the sting out of the none-of-my-business-but-I-will-ask-anyways questions with a smile, trying to be cute–unsuccessfully, might I say.

No matter which type you are surrounded by, you have to admit that your life would be dull and incomplete without these grandmoms and grandpops. Here’s to the oldies smoldies that dot our world.