Oldies smoldies

There is something remarkably fascinating about the elderly, those who are over 65, especially in India. Not only do Indian senior citizens come in all shapes, sizes and colours, they are also distinctly different, based on the culture, upbringing and background they come from. Our world is a more interesting place with the oldies pampering us, giving advice, repeating the stories of their ancestors and how things were while they were growing up. Have you noticed, however, that they have typical characteristics that can be classified distinctly?

The take-me-home-and-look-after-me ones

If there were a competition for this category, my grandmother would be a sure winner. Every time she smiles at me, I am tempted to take her home and use her as a hugsy pillow – which, of course, I refrain from doing! Kind eyes on a wrinkled face, you will feel pampered with merely a look from them. Typically, they love feeding everyone with delectable recipes, which only they can concoct, much to the perplexity of daughter-in-laws and grandchildren. Having unsuccessfully tried my hand at cooking my favourite preparation under her watchful eye with the same vegetables, ingredients and method she uses, I have given up on ever achieving the taste of my grandmother’s cuisine. The unique flavour of her preparations eludes me always. Maybe at the end of the cooking process, she secretly scrunches up her eyes and blows her love on top of the preparation as garnishing. What? Do not judge me as totally nuts, it just may be possible, you know.

The look-at-me-and-I-will-bite-your-head-off ones

The complete opposite of the previous category, this type of crowd consists of the typical irritable elderly you would encounter in a Mumbai local. Ready to pick a fight even if you so much as breathe near them, you are best off leaving them in their miserable state of mind. Say one word, and this frustrated group will leave you spell-bound with a verbal tirade unfit for their age. Senior citizens frustrated with complications like worse halves and finances, and sometimes plain old pessimists form the crux of such a group. If you ever face someone from this category in a boxing ring, concede defeat even before the fight starts, because they WILL tear you apart!

The yes-I-can ones

These are the resolute ones, who insist on living life independently and on their terms. Oldies falling in this category believe that they can handle whatever life throws at them, no matter what. It is this belief that sometimes helps them overcome physical conditions that no medicine in the world can cure. Whereas you and I would have given up years ago, the yes-I-can type of senior citizens fight everything from cancer to arthritis to financial crisis with utmost cheerfulness, emerging victorious most of the time. Hopefully God will endow us with half their strength when we reach their age. Hats off to these oldies I say!

The pesky-nosy-tell-me-everything ones

This category is sort of a mix of the first and second category. While not as rude as the irritable elders and not as cute as the hugsy ones, pesky senior citizens take it upon themselves to find out everything about your life, whether it is their business or not. My neighbour’s grandmother heads this category, faithfully making it a point to inquire with my mother how late I came in last night, who was the ‘boy’ who dropped me home at 11 30 at night and who was making so much noise in a get together at my place. While my neighbour does not, some grandmoms tend to take the sting out of the none-of-my-business-but-I-will-ask-anyways questions with a smile, trying to be cute–unsuccessfully, might I say.

No matter which type you are surrounded by, you have to admit that your life would be dull and incomplete without these grandmoms and grandpops. Here’s to the oldies smoldies that dot our world.

Special bonds

Have you ever had that one special friend you could go to for anything in your life? The one with whom you had an instant bonding like no other. Who you thought was born specifically to support you. To walk you through your lowest periods without losing faith. To give you advice without judging you. Your 3-am friend who was there for you, no matter what. With whom you could laugh, cry, share stories, talk for hours and still be short of time. Who earned your implicit trust and meant more to you than most others you know. Well, you are one of the lucky ones.

If you have a friend like that, do not let misunderstandings and differences gnaw away at your friendship. Once you lose that special bond, no one will ever be able to fill those shoes for you. No one will ever be able to make you feel as safe and secure as that friend did. Even in your most trying and difficult time with him or her, hang on to the relationship. Cause there just won’t be anyone like that person for you in your lifetime.

PS: If you find this post weird, please don’t judge me as crazy, and move on quickly. It’s a thought that popped into my head at a time when I thought I had lost that special person ;)

PPS: That special friend turned out to be my soul mate whom I nearly lost because I didn’t have the courage to act on how I felt. If you have a friend like that, don’t hesitate; the happiness on the other end will make it worth it. :)

Are we really Bindaas?

I know a discussion on the Indian television industry will have most of you lamenting on the many cheesy soaps with tacky names being aired today. Having managed to avoid the hysteria that swept the nation when ‘Mihir’ from ‘Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi’ died—I know it because it’s general knowledge in India; you do not have to be a television enthusiast for it—I have detached myself from daily television shows to the point of ignorance. A discussion regarding the plot of the most popular soap today would have me yawning within minutes of joining the conversation. However, there is a new genre of television shows which makes me want to join the saas-bahu bandwagon gladly.

A channel called Bindass TV has brought out this hateful genre to colour-coded life today. I happened to come across this on one of those rare occasions I was flipping through channels on a weekend at home. The show I came across seemed to be a reality-based one called Emotional Atyachar, with couples taking the so-called ‘loyalty test’ to check whether their partner is faithful or not. The participant is typically someone having trust issues or sometimes simply an incompatible partner. A premonition of something wrong in a very personal relationship makes the participant decide to ‘test’ his or her partner at the risk of total humiliation and heartbreak being witnessed by thousands, if not millions of Indians. There is an elaborate set-up, in which, a 6-year-old relationship may be in tatters at the end of an hour-long show. Wait, so, you are trying to tell the viewers that in 6 years the ‘participant’ didn’t have a clue about her partner’s roving eye and was completely ignorant about the fact that he had absolutely no feelings for her? And all this, the partner discusses with a complete stranger, who, for no apparent reason, comes on to him 10 minutes into a conversation? Yes? Errr… OK! Although I have seen just one episode, I am sure that there has never been a faithful partner who has declared his undying love for his girlfriend or has not been caught cheating in Emotional Atyachar. After all, if there is no ‘atyachar’, how will the TRPs get a boost?

A quick peek at the channel’s website disgusts me even more… “Sell your friends for cash” or “Want a new set of parents?” is the headline that greets visitors on the Bindass television website. It proclaims the channel as ‘India's most loved youth brand’ and boasts that their ‘fundas of Fun, Free, Fearless, Frank and Unexpected have helped capture the imagination of the youth’. I wonder if they have considered capturing our youth’s attention with educational, interactive programs which encourage them to explore, travel and learn something at the end. But again, how will such non-scandalous, simple programs help them earn precious eyeballs which lead to excessive advertising revenue?

The tactlessness of some shows named—pretty offensively, might I add—“Would You Tap That”, “Campus Attack”, “Love Lockup” and “Date Trap” hits you right between your eyes. And in case you didn’t notice, words like ‘tap that’, ‘lockup’, ‘attack’ and ‘trap’ are all negative words alluding to physical aspects which would put even a hardcore optimist off relationships. These are also not words to be ideally associated with human relationships, but who cares about that, right? The popularity of crass shows like Emotional Atyachar among teens today should be worrying us. If I catch my 15-year-old cousin watching this show, he would be grounded for months! That is, if I was allowed to ground him…

My sister and my television time was limited to MTV Bakra, in which Cyrus played harmless pranks on his unsuspecting victims. And while I realise that saying “our television time” makes me sound over 50 years of age, I am talking about a period just 10 years ago, when we were in our mid-teens. MTV was the latest ‘in-thing’, with programs consisting of pranks, funny videos and advice for love problems, all of which were different from the usual soaps dominating the television industry then.

Bindass TV’s popularity may be due to the sheer entertainment it provides. After all, have trouble brewing and most people would be interested in pointing and laughing at the poor sucker suffering on TV. However, for my peace of mind, I would like to believe that emotions like love, respect and affection still exist and have not been turned into physical relations like depicted on those shows. Call me old fashioned, but I like it when someone expresses genuine feelings with a rose or a romantic evening; when one does not have to worry about a hidden camera just waiting to point out the flaws in the relationship; where the so-called better half is not bitching about how the relationship is stifling him; and in case of a break up, it does not become a spectacle with the two people assaulting each other in the middle of the road.

If you haven’t come across these programs, please do not go home and check it out. I do not, in any way, want to be responsible for more people viewing them. I hope this is only a phrase of sleazy entertainment options we are checking out. And I hope it passes sooner rather than later. I do not know how it reflects on us and where we are heading in our personal relationships if such programs form a permanent basis in our lives.

Here’s to emotions as we know it. Here’s wishing we are NOT that BINDAAS.