April 14, 2012

In the ‘name’ of sanity


Think of the funniest names you have ever come across in your life. Got it? Now list them down on a piece of paper. Done? Now besides those, list the following names, which you, as a parent, should NEVER ever consider for your child…

Sunshine and Sunrise
If you are wondering whether they are related, let me tell you that they are. If you are wishing, for the sake of humanity, that these are names given to females, let me tell you that they are not: these are names of twin brothers. And if God had not had mercy on all of us by stopping right there, I would imagine another sibling would have been named Sunset!

Perception
Not a very perceptive name, must say. If you love the word so much, you should probably use it to understand the situation your daughter will be in after she realises that you have given her this name.

Immaculate
I am not kidding, this is actually the name of a person! The parents of whoever is given this unfortunate name need to be checked for OCD. Imagine the irony if Immaculate turns out to the untidiest person on earth! :D

Virgin
I would probably have just one word for the parents of this girl: WHY?!? You do realise that your child will not be able to explain the meaning of her name anyone under the age of 21, right?

Conception
Parents who thought of this one should probably be whiplashed. If we are allowed to whip people, that is. If we are not, we can take em to Iran and complete the task. The daughter would certainly agree, I am sure!

Pinkesh
I am not making this one up, I swear I HAVE come across a Pinkesh, who was a friend of an acquaintance of a friend of a… Never mind. The point is, your son would thank you for choosing to fill in ‘Unnamed’ or ‘Unknown’ on the birth certificate rather than naming him Pinkesh. Gujarati parents may do well to take special note of this one.

Pinkal
A ‘brother’, for the lack of a better word, to the previous name, Pinkal is an equally bad name that a guy can never carry off, even if he develops a demi-god body like Hrithik Roshan’s.

Prithviraj
Combine this with a surname like Chauhan, and I kid you not, your child will not get a life partner in the 21st century without changing his name! My neighbour’s son, who has this surname, JUST managed to avoid getting this name, the lucky dog!

Charmy
This may just scrape through if it is a girl. However, if you name your son Charmy, you may be the one held responsible if he is ultimately stoned at school.

Adolf
Really? This name might have been taken out of even baby name books, and you want to name your kid this? Seriously folks, please have mercy on your kid!

I know a name is not what defines your child’s personality, but it does help him or her in case of lack of the same… On paper anyways… All said and done, make this choice with care. After all, your child needs to live with it for the rest of his or her life… Or at least till they are old enough to change it!