To my precious dadi...

In a game of cards, she used to surreptously ask me which card I required, and promptly give it away so I could at least salvage the game, if not win it; it didn’t matter to her if she lost the game due to that one card. If I knew that was the last time I would play with her, I would have kissed her then and there for being so generous.

She would always cook the same vegetable for me (tindola or ivy gourd), not because her expertise lay in that, but because I insisted on it… if I knew that it was the last time I was having it, I would have memorised the taste and learnt how to imitate it in the closest possible way… I don’t think I would have achieved the same taste, cause only she could cook it that way.

She awaited my wedding for years… If I would have known that I would see her standing and talking to people for the last time at my wedding, I would have hugged her tight and spent hours talking to her, telling her how much I loved and appreciated her…

She looked forward to festivities eagerly, as it was the only time all her family came under one roof at her place… If I would have known last year was the last Diwali I would celebrate with her in her conscious state, I would have savoured my time with her.

She called every Sunday unfailingly. If I would have know it was the last time I would be able to hear my name in her voice when she last called, I would have chatted with her for hours.

But as we know, God just doesn’t give us such chances. So now, all I can do is remember the taste, smell, voice and picture of my dadi laughing, talking, being happy cooking for us, and hope that I had conveyed to her how much I love her.

To my Anna...

Here's to all the dadis out there, with their twinkling eyes, toothless smiles, fabulous food and unconditional love... Without you, there would have been no one to pamper us rotten!

And here's to my Anna, who did all these things for me and more... I wish I had been able to do more, love more, call more than I did... I hope you enjoyed the wedding of your eldest grandchild, for which you were waiting for God knows when. And I know that you have given more than you ever received to everyone around you.

You are and will always be my Anna... My dadi with angelic loving eyes and deeds... I love you... Now and always :)

The marriage diaries

You know that one event that changes your life for better or for worse? If you can’t guess it from the title itself… Well… Then no points for you.

Marriage can be one of the scariest experiences of a girl’s life. And the reasons for that are not at all in lines with the one that guys have… Loss of freedom… to ogle or party.. without permission. (FYI, My hubby has the permission to ogle at anyone, cause I know at the end of the day he’s coming back to me! But as usual, I digress from the point.)

For girls, the prospect of getting married can get overwhelming. Going into a new home and adjusting with a whole new family can be daunting, to say the least. And in case it is an arranged marriage, her husband is one more person she doesn’t know and has to adjust with! In short, it can be quite a nightmare.

They say girls dream of their marriage day since they are seven or eight years old. I could never relate to that. For one, at eight, I was still learning to comb my hair or cut a simple salad! I had more real life, practical problems to take care of than dreaming of a day I didn’t even understand at that point. I mean have you SEEN the multiplication tables we were given in the second standard?!?

However, when the thought did enter my mind-many, many years after I turned eight-it shook me up real bad. What do you mean I need to leave my home and family and stay with another one?!? Why can’t the boy come live with us?!? Mom had to work really hard to knock the concept into my brain. And when I finally realised that she was actually serious, it left me with an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Which never really went away, even when I got older.

The thought of spending the rest of my life with a virtual stranger and his family started giving me nightmares. And the fact that I had to go through the whole arranged marriage rigamarole, that too, in a Gujju setup, didn’t assuage my doubts one bit!

However, on 25th February, 2012, all my fears turned out to be unfounded as I married the love of my life and soulmate. Previously, I used to worry about how I would cope with the adjustment; but looking into Kshitij’s eyes when I married him banished all the fear. Before, I wondered how on earth I was going to manage so much responsibility; but the way he smiled at me while taking the vows reassured me that it was going to be an equal partnership. My major concern was whether my thought process would match with the person I was supposed to spend my life with; Kshitij is like my mirror image: he thinks of the same things even before I can articulate the idea to him.

Even the marriage turned out to be perfect. The day was beautiful; all the guests were well-behaved; the decoration was done well; everything was on time; the food was amazing; my make-up was just right. But above all, it FELT right! It FELT like the union of two lives and families. It FELT like a marriage!

I never thought it would be this perfect. But then I realised, it was not related to the venue or the people or the complications related to hosting such a huge event. All that took care of itself. It was the happiness of knowing that everything was going to be all right. That the change that was happening was going to be a good one. I was going to share my life with someone I loved and trusted immensely, and someone who loved and respected me in return. It was going to be a happy partnership, unlike all the nightmares I had conjured up in so many years! And the realisation took a weight off my shoulders that shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

My marriage was perfect… Because my partner is perfect… And my life from now on is going to be… just perfect!

In the ‘name’ of sanity

Think of the funniest names you have ever come across in your life. Got it? Now list them down on a piece of paper. Done? Now besides those, list the following names, which you, as a parent, should NEVER ever consider for your child…

Sunshine and Sunrise

If you are wondering whether they are related, let me tell you that they are. If you are wishing, for the sake of humanity, that these are names given to females, let me tell you that they are not: these are names of twin brothers. And if God had not had mercy on all of us by stopping right there, I would imagine another sibling would have been named Sunset!

Perception

Not a very perceptive name, must say. If you love the word so much, you should probably use it to understand the situation your daughter will be in after she realises that you have given her this name.

Immaculate

I am not kidding, this is actually the name of a person! The parents of whoever is given this unfortunate name need to be checked for OCD. Imagine the irony if Immaculate turns out to the untidiest person on earth! :D

Virgin

I would probably have just one word for the parents of this girl: WHY?!? You do realise that your child will not be able to explain the meaning of her name anyone under the age of 21, right?

Conception

Parents who thought of this one should probably be whiplashed. If we are allowed to whip people, that is. If we are not, we can take em to Iran and complete the task. The daughter would certainly agree, I am sure!

Pinkesh

I am not making this one up, I swear I HAVE come across a Pinkesh, who was a friend of an acquaintance of a friend of a… Never mind. The point is, your son would thank you for choosing to fill in ‘Unnamed’ or ‘Unknown’ on the birth certificate rather than naming him Pinkesh. Gujarati parents may do well to take special note of this one.

Pinkal

A ‘brother’, for the lack of a better word, to the previous name, Pinkal is an equally bad name that a guy can never carry off, even if he develops a demi-god body like Hrithik Roshan’s.

Prithviraj

Combine this with a surname like Chauhan, and I kid you not, your child will not get a life partner in the 21st century without changing his name! My neighbour’s son, who has this surname, JUST managed to avoid getting this name, the lucky dog!

Charmy

This may just scrape through if it is a girl. However, if you name your son Charmy, you may be the one held responsible if he is ultimately stoned at school.

Adolf

Really? This name might have been taken out of even baby name books, and you want to name your kid this? Seriously folks, please have mercy on your kid!

I know a name is not what defines your child’s personality, but it does help him or her in case of lack of the same… On paper anyways… All said and done, make this choice with care. After all, your child needs to live with it for the rest of his or her life… Or at least till they are old enough to change it!